mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's like iHOP with fire
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
