If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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