Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
