jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize