What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
