a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
