okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize