How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
