I think my vagina is haunted
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I will pee on everything he values.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
