I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
