If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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