pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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