Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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