His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
