ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
only you would photoshop your dick
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
