a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
zippers are such a cool invention
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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