they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
