If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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