So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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