Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Panties = found
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
