we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
