Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
