okay pat passed out under dana's car
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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