i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize