I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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