This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
