Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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