the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
