i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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