Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
