you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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