And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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