Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
