i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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