I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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