my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
