this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
