Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
