I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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