apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
