all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
