he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
