Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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