omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
