I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
