I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
