maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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