bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
