so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
