dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
