I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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