too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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