its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize