I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize