I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
did i just pee glitter
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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