if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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