i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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