God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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