I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
