ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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