I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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