I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize