I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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